August 13, 2008
So upset
The extent of feeling upset over its loss took me by surprise. I fought back tears while sitting in Mos Burger. I fought back tears while in the bus. I fought back tears when Emman smsed me a humourous side to the situation.
I never expect that I would be this upset.
I don't lose things easily. I don't lose things frequently. Generally, I'm a rather careful person and not absent-minded.
But I lost my Lord of The Rings bookmark. This afternoon. In Ang Mo Kio Central. When I realised it fell out of the book I was carrying in my hands, I retraced my steps to find it. And when I realised it was lost to me, possibly forever, I was seriously, genuinely upset.
The bookmark has been with me through thick and thin. Thick and thin books. As well as good and bad ones. It's the bookmark I show off to friends who care to know my preoccupation with LoTR. It's a gift from Juan. From the States.
Still, I did not expect I would cry.
Honestly, the loss was more painful than I had thought. I kept thinking of how I don't know where my bookmark is anymore, who has gotten hold of it and its future... and I just felt like crying again.
Feels like a damn break up. Damn it.
Emman said I attach too much sentimentality to things. That I attach too much value to my things. Yes, he is right. To people too. That's my downfall. I knew it, I know it. I can't help it.
I hate this downfall. But what else can I hold on to?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:48